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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29898168">live with the webs you spin</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetallizard/pseuds/fullmetallizard'>fullmetallizard</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Experimental Style, Hurt No Comfort, I'm a little drunk and got sad about what's happened to them, M/M, canonverse, eremin but only kind of, there's not really a plot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:14:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>476</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29898168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetallizard/pseuds/fullmetallizard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A stream of consciousness from Armin at what has become of him and Eren.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>live with the webs you spin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I one million percent do not own snk</p><p>This is a super experimental style for me and there is no plot. Tbh, I'm drunk and can't sleep and might make an orphan of this fic lmaooo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“What happened to me?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to become the very thing that stole his childhood from him, the thing that turned the world upside down. He didn’t want the power to bring forth screams of terror, the strength to obliterate homes, to become a destroyer of life.</p><p>Life.</p><p>That’s all he wanted.</p><p>He just didn’t want to be locked away anymore. He didn’t want the bird cage, the cattle pen, the prison. He just wanted to explore, to learn, to <em>live</em>.</p><p>That desire shouldn’t have been a sin, it shouldn’t have damned him.</p><p>He is older now but still so young. Days are limited and move at an excruciating meteoric speed.</p><p>He’s scared.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“What happened to you?!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Always a hunger for vengeance but it was never quite so malicious, so diabolical. His eyes used to glow but now they’re half dead, lined and streaked with a power that shouldn’t exist.</p><p>Where has he gone?</p><p>His body is here but he is not.</p><p>He used to make him believe that there was a place in the world for him, a spot for him to fill. </p><p>He thought he was brave, he <em>made</em> him brave. </p><p>He used to fight away the bullies, used to hold his hand, used to make him laugh.</p><p>He can’t remember the last time either of them laughed.</p><p>He can’t remember the last time he looked at him and didn’t want to cry.</p><p>He can’t remember the last time he woke up in the morning without the overwhelming urge to roll back over and weep.</p><p>“<em>Please</em>, Eren, come back.”</p><p> Is that even an option anymore? In his bones, he knows it’s not.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>“What happened to </em>us<em>?!” </em></p><p> </p><p>Hands clasped together have become hands clenched into fists. Fingernails biting into palms to keep from screaming, fists whose impact pains the soul far more than they could ever hurt the body.</p><p>The idea of an embrace is laughable though his body aches for nothing more, his arms scream for it and fists must be clenched again to fight it off.</p><p>How many children cry for their mothers because of them? How many mothers for their children?</p><p>They are bathed in blood, pulled into a dark world of sleep by the echoes of screams, and there is no one to hold him when he wakes drenched in sweat.</p><p>He used to be there, ready to hold him.</p><p>They were supposed to stay together.</p><p>What about the sea? The words in the books used to set his eyes on fire but there is not even a spark in them. Closed off, cold, empty.</p><p>Where has he gone?</p><p>“Eren, <em>please</em>, come back.”</p><p>But he can't.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“What went wrong?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How could I let this happen?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How could you let this happen?”</em>
</p><p><em>“How am I supposed to live with </em>this<em>?”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Please, Eren. Please come back to me.”</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>make sure you hydrate yourself and unclench your jaw and shoulders. ily!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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